I cried again...

I hope that today will be the last time they do this kind of stuff to me. There is a limit to my tolerance of their behaviour and nonesense.
I've thought for quite some time. I've tried to open up, up i dun wanna open anymore. it gives me hope. tt's true. however, since when was i able to feel happy for a long time? everytime i get my hopes up, they disappoint me. what have i done wrong?
I read a quite from someone. it means tt it is easy to change a community but it is not easy to change yourself. now i totally understand what it means. it may sound simple. but there's a deeper meaning. people might not like you. you may think tt u did nothing wrong. probably you were never wrong, but different ppl think differently. they might not like you cos they do not like what you do. you can never noe why unless you ask and they are truthful enough to tell you so. However, i can tell you tt those you find easy to talk to will not tell you the whole picture cos they dun wanna hurt you.
i feel tt i've been over protective of myself. probably it's time i come out of my comfort zone. i think it no longer matters whether or not i get hurt. i've been hurt so many times tt it probably dun hurt anymore...
This morning, I was feeling bad. I was feeling confused. I was having a feeling I've not felt for quite sometime already. I wrote down what and how I felt...
I've been given the chance to live a normal life like the rest of you. Yet why do I feel so different? Do I belong to some other place? Some group of people? I feel that I've not gained the acceptance of my classmates. They think differently. They get influenced. I don't. I am different. I believed I was different from the start. However, I do not know in what way am I different? Am I out to do great things or to bring harm and make life hell? I don't know. I just feel very confused. I feel like an outcast. like Nobody. I find no one like me. When ppl say that they understand me, that they understand how I feel, do they really do? I feel confused. I feel as though someone have stabbed me again and again. I've never had such mixed feelings for a long time already.

I went to see the school counselor. She talked to my class. Then, during assembly, Jia Ying took the initiative. She asked if I wanted to sit with them. I was firm about my decision to sit in the front. I think I'm not too used to being treated nicely by them when they dun usually treat me well. I hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
I think I should start revision now. I've got 2 tests tmr...

I PASSED!!

Good news guys! I received a call earlier this aftnoon from my piano teacher. I passed my grade7 exam. I know tt i've been thinking abt changing class and stuff like tt for the past few days. I've decided to just bear with it now since EOY in a few days time. Aft EOY, i'll then decide abt it. I noe tt changing class is not the best choice. however, i'll consider doing so if there are no other possible choices...

Random Pictures...

Some very random pictures for Zi Yin to look at -_-"

This was shortly after I returned from my Hawaii trip with my family. Was in P3 then. This picture was taken on my maternal grandparent's 50th Wedding Anniversary.

Benny's Graduation from GreenPasture when he's K2. He look so cute. The teacher behind us is my N2 teacher when I was there. Didn't really see her aft I finished N2 cos I went to PAP.

Happened to see this while I was putting away my sec3 class photo. rmb Ping Fang and I bought a Formal and an Informal 6E class photo for CY. I also e-mailed it to Fred...

Grandpa's Bdae. He's 69 I think. Sort of lost count aft quite some time. But I noe that he's probably 73 or 74 this yr...

Braney's Graduation Day. I had CO that day and actually asked my grandpa to send me to school aft CO practice. Although the programme was almost ending, I still went anyway. The teacher standing in the middle is my form teacher when I was in 5E and 6E...
2006 Graduation theme was Reminiscences. Could still rmb tt I was in graduation Comm.

Time Will Tell

CY, I dun noe when you'll be free to visit. I just wanna wish you good luck. I think you are right. TIME. Can you still rmb the time you just started school? you were unsure if you would have friends as great as the 'gang' in nhps. turns out you had friends soon. though it did take quite some time. you rmb sometime last yr when you said your friends feel fake to you? you missed those times in nhps with us. cos tt's where your pri sch frens are. unlike your friends, you are unable to go out with us. you didn't tell me much abt your friends aft tt. cos after some time, you guys have probably worked things out. this wk, you told me tt you find tt the 1st day of sch didn't turn out as u expected. you are hesitant as to whether you should be friends with those sitting around you. i asked you for suggestions. you said to give things TIME. i believe you will become friends with them. as long as one of you take the initiative. i noe it takes courage. this means tt you are willing to step out of your comfort zone. give things some time and i'm sure everything will work out fine.
After tt chat with you tt night, I thought about time, about friendship, how it's linked together. Friendship takes time. time for the bond between two people to become stronger, to be stronger. Time can change a person. you can tell if your friend is a true friend, someone loyal to you, someone you can trust; or someone is not reliable, someone who will betray you. I find that it is really amazing what TIME can do. For now, ONLY TIME CAN TELL ...

3 Down 1 To Go

I've practiced abt 3 hrs of piano le. still got like 1 more hrs. must jiayou. I seriously wanna pass! i dun really wanna just get a pass. i wanna pass with merit if possible. i believe everythin is possible. i'm starting to target for higher grades for my exam pieces. just hope tt havin piano exam b4 EOY won't affect my results. i'm starting to improve. i dun wanna drop and risk getting reatined.
dun even noe why i'm suddenly thinking of so much negative stuff. gotta think positive rite? I dun think i'll be updating this dead blog till aft exams. unless i've SERIOUSLY got the time.