Life
Have you thought of how life was like in the past and how life is now? sometimes, i'll just wander bout it. i find many things interesting. frm pri sch to sec sch for eg. when u go to sec sch, you may not see ur pri sch frens anymore. in p6, i was not happy with my frens i thought: why treat them so well when they dun really care much bout me? that's bcause we are different. when we chose sec sch, i agreed with my parents decision to send me to CCHMS partly bcause i dun want to face my prob (which is frenship) and aft what happened, i didn't want to see them(pri sch frens) anymore. to think of it, i sort of regret it.
if you ask me what's changed in me? i think my answer will be not much. i go to sch everyday, just like when i was still in nhps. i still go back to nhps occaionally if i hav time and if i need to fetch ben frm sch. i just went back twice this wk...
when i first went to CCHMS, i thought 'great! i'm now in a sch where i hav no frens, no nothing, just like when i first started pri sch. i dun noe anyone. except that this time, i see my grandpa in sch everydae cause he work there (but u dun see him around sch that much. he's usually in the HOD rm) when lsns started, that was when everything became what it was like in the past...
i noe that i can't go back in time or do anything to change, the past, but i must accept the fact. i'm still quite alright with my results. i no longer regret my decision. things could hav been worst if i hadn't came to cchm. only in cch, would i be able to study with students who actually scored much better than me in their PSLE. this also help me get good grades.
i feel that things hav changed since i left nhps. i no longer see my pri sch frens or classmates everyday, i dun really miss them much. maybe just once in a while. i'll think of them, think of the days we've spent together. when i'm sad, i'll think of what happened in the past. the past do teach me some stuff, but it have also changed my views and opinions of certain incidents. friendship is an example. that's also why i often get angry easily. when i hardly see my pri sch frens, i regret the decision, as i felt slightly lonely in sch. thanks to the company of my seniors and a few of my classmates, i quite enjoyed sch last yr. that was also when i found my gd fren. we enjoy talking bout sch or anything that happens. i think i'm the one who's telling her bout my troubles. i do enjoy her company alot, and thus treasure her more, partly because i'm afraid that the same thing that happen in p6 might happen again. this is also why i dun really trust everyone i see. trust cannot be built overnight. it takes time to built with another person.
ChungYan,
i miss you. i'm glad to have a friend as good as you, cause i've learn alot after you left nhps. shall we try to e-mail each other when we've got time? i kind of miss the time i send you e-mail everyday (but i'm not so free to send you one everyday now! hahas...)
sry if it sounds messy cause i just write what i think
